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Monday Motivation: How To Stop Lying To Ourselves – A Call For Self-Awareness

Published by on May 18th, 2020.

How to Stop Lying to Ourselves: A Call for Self-Awareness

Sincerity is a gem hard to find nowadays. People are always trying to fool other people in a quest to find something. They are ready to hide their inner feelings and emotions at any cost.

Everyone has a right to a few secrets. However, the situation becomes problematic when they begin to lie to themselves in the hope of a shortcut.

Why is lying to yourself harmful?

All of us talk to ourselves from time to time. As no one is hearing us, this is the time to take an honest look within us. The purpose of this exercise is to find weaknesses and then solve it.

However, if we are lying to ourselves, we would never find those mistakes, and our chance of redemption goes away.

Moreover, if we dont rectify our mistake, we would end up with a lot of disappointments. This would further push us down the path of depression, which is never good for anyone.

This would be even more disastrous as you wont be able to tell yourself the truth because of your habit. Your mental condition would worsen over time.

Hence, lying to yourself has some serious complications.

Where to begin?

It is not easy to stop lying to yourself. You cant just wake up and decide not to do so. It is a long, tedious process that will cause you a lot of negative emotions.

But there is no other way. You can start by writing down everything you want to change with a solution side to it.

Then sit down with your inner self and began asking these tough questions. Record all of your answers, then a week later.

Open up these questions again and see how much progress you’ve made. Slowly and steadily these will help you develop self control.

Don’t give simple answers to these questions:

The exercise requires to be completely honest with yourself. Hence, it would require yourself to find some more insight, and simple answers won’t just be justified.

It would require you to look at the question from every aspect and then answer thoroughly. For example, if you are asking yourself if you love your ex-partner.

A simple yes or no won’t suffice, dig deep and find every corner for the answer before making up your mind. Moreover, you are looking for quality and not quantity.

1. Accept Your Feelings

This is one of the most hardest and common mistakes people make in their life. Look at the previous question about your ex-partner.

People are either dismissive of such feelings or afraid to accept them as their partner doesn’t love them anymore or is in another relationship.

This makes them accepting their feelings even more difficult or probably lead them to lie. However, you need to be strong to overcome these hurdles and live your life freely.

This might even require you to accept negative emotions about yourself. This would help you forget tough experiences and learn from them.

2. Turn Off Your Self-defence Mechanism:

One of the gifts of being an emotional person is self-defence. This comes into play when others contradict us. Now, a person might agree to the other person in a bid to stay relevant, he might explode to defend his views.

Something similar happens when you talk to yourself as well. Either you accept everything or fight everything.

This is not the right way to deal with the situation as your end goal is to find the right conclusion which won’t be reached by either reaction. So turn off your defence mechanism.

3. Be Realistic About Yourself

Theodore Roosevelt once wrote that

Comparison is the thief of joy.

I would not agree lessless with him as a lot of people underestimate or overestimate themselves. Both conditions are not ideal and can lead to your downfall.

So, try to access yourself with various tasks to find out where you stand. This would help you identify what you can achieve and then work around the clock for it.


I’d like to conclude that lying to yourself doesn’t go down well for anyone. It is a bit of frustration and depression, which never ends.

Hence, you need to make up your mind and move in a particular direction.

The best course of action is a combination of small steps as I have mentioned above and then follow them rigorously.

The process is very long and filled with hurdles, but you need to overcome them for greater good. If only you’d try hard enough, you can overcome and rejoice over your victory.

I have always projected that the sin against the Holy Spirit is the sin against yourself when you know the truth but refuses to admit it.





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